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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28007154">Sapnap Is Away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_issabella/pseuds/not_issabella'>not_issabella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emily is Away (Video Game), Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF) - Freeform, Textfic, dreamnap, emily is away, sapwastaken - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:09:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28007154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_issabella/pseuds/not_issabella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> i remember not telling him that although we were looking at hundreds of stars i couldn’t take my eyes off of him, i remember not telling him that i wanted to bottle the feeling of holding his cold face in my hands so i could have it forever, and worst of all i remember not telling him... </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>sapnap is deleting...<br/>sapnap is typing...<br/>sapnap: why didn’t you kiss me? </p><p> </p><p>  <i>i remember not telling him i wanted to kiss him. </i></p><p> </p><p>or we follow the messages shared between highschool best friends Dream and Sapnap as they move to different colleges and learn new things about themselves and each other. will their friendship become more through these messages, or will it completely fall apart underneath them?</p><p>or a (mostly) textfic based on the game Emily Is Away</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>187</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Senior Year, Highschool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sapnap: hey dream...<br/>sapnap: even though we’re going to different schools<br/>sapnap: do you promise you’ll be there for me?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Screenname:<br/>
dream🟩</p><p>First Name:<br/>
Clay</p><p> </p><p>sapnap🔥 has signed in! </p><p>dream: sap! hey!</p><p>sapnap: hi!<br/>
sapnap: i like ur pfp the lil blob is cute lol<br/>
sapnap: so, what’s up?</p><p>dream: talking to some idiot 🙄🙄lol<br/>
dream: what are you up to? </p><p>sapnap: dude shut up<br/>
sapnap: and i’m just listening to music<br/>
sapnap: do you know quadeca?</p><p>dream: kind of<br/>
dream: from what i heard their last album was pretty good</p><p>
  <i> i’ve never fully listened to any of their albums. just songs ive heard through sapnap while sharing earbuds, or studying together while music was playing through his phone</i>
</p><p>sapnap: it really was!<br/>
sapnap: if u want i can send u song recommendations, they’re one of my favorites<br/>
sapnap: their lyrics are in my bio lol<br/>
sapnap: anyway, are you going to quackities party tonight? </p><p>dream: maybe i haven’t decided<br/>
dream: might stay home n chill with patches lol </p><p>sapnap: come on u buzzkill you should go, it would be no fun without you mr.gets-chased-by-the-cops-every-five-seconds</p><p>dream: oh come on<br/>
dream: it was like once </p><p>
  <i>or twice.... or three times... but that was it </i>
</p><p>sapnap: whatever you sayyyy<br/>
sapnap: but isn’t it crazy that we’re already having end of school parties </p><p>dream: dude<br/>
dream: i literally cant wait for highschool to be over </p><p>sapnap: same here man i am so over this school ✌️<br/>
sapnap: do u know punz from our math class?<br/>
sapnap: he won’t stop messaging me rn </p><p>
  <i>punz.... pretty blonde boy who’s assigned seat was next to sapnap. always not-so-subtly flirting with him, doing that dumb highschool boy thing where he’d take the pen right out of saps hand while he was writing, or ask him for gum way too flirty, or play with the wristbands he was wearing. sap would always giggle along with him. no i’m not jealous. </i>
</p><p>dream: lol what’s he saying </p><p>sapnap: he wants to talk or something? i’m not rlly paying attention lmao</p><p>
  <i>...oh boy</i>
</p><p>sapnap: oh man, just one more month until graduation. dude, we’re so old!</p><p>dream: hahaha yeah, still wish it were sooner though<br/>
dream: did u pick a school yet?</p><p>sapnap: eh i didn’t get accepted into my main choice, so i’m just goin to one of the others<br/>
sapnap: but that’s ok it’s better than nothing<br/>
sapnap: where are u gonna go? </p><p>dream: i’m gonna go to school for coding n stuff. i’m not 100% sure if that’s what i wanna do but i’ll figure it out 😬</p><p>sapnap: dude that’s awesome! you’ve always been super smart<br/>
sapnap: i’m sure you’ll do rlly well! ☺️</p><p>
  <i>god he’s cute</i>
</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap is deleting...<br/>
sapnap is typing...</p><p>sapnap: hey dream...<br/>
sapnap: even though we’re going to different schools<br/>
sapnap: do you promise you’ll be there for me?</p><p>
  <i> GOD HES CUTE </i>
</p><p>dream is typing...</p><p> : absolutely! nothing could ever keep me from talking to you, you’re literally my best fr:</p><p>
  <i>tone it back, man</i>
</p><p>dream is deleting...<br/>
dream is typing... </p><p>dream: dude you know that nothing could ever keep me from talking to you, ur one of my best friends </p><p>sapnap: and you’re one of mine too<br/>
sapnap: u always will be clay =]<br/>
sapnap: oh it’s getting late, i hope karl gets here soon so we can come pick u up n head to the party </p><p>dream: are you leaving soon? </p><p>sapnap: yea as soon as karl gets here, then we’re both heading to quackities party<br/>
sapnap: after coming to get u of course<br/>
sapnap: u are coming, right dreamiepoo??🥺🥺🥺🥺😚😚😚</p><p>
  <i>here we go. he always has a way of getting what he wants out of me, not that i mind too much anyway</i>
</p><p>dream: dude fuck off hahaha<br/>
dream: yeah sure i’ll be there </p><p>sapnap: cool! i’m gonna get ready and wait for karl<br/>
sapnap: hopefully punz stops messaging me once i put up my away message lol<br/>
sapnap: see u soon &lt;3</p><p>dream: see ya man &lt;3</p><p>sapnap🔥 is away</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hiiii so a quick little note, this is my first time publishing a fic in over 4 years soooo yeah. </p><p>also like i said in the summary this is going to be heavily based off of the game emily is away so if you’ve never heard of the game you should check it out! it’s rlly good and i believe it’s actually free on steam</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Freshman Year, College</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dream is typing...<br/>:well all i know is i wouldn’t treat you like that:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>.... too far again</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>dream is deleting...<br/>dream is typing...</p>
<p>dream: well all i know is you should be treated a little better than that :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>sapnap🥶💪 has signed in! </p>
<p>sapnap: dream! hey!</p>
<p>dream: dude fuck off with those emojis</p>
<p>sapnap: ouch 😞😞😞<br/>
sapnap: now i’m never changing them </p>
<p>dream: ahahaha screw u<br/>
dream: anyways what’s up?</p>
<p>sapnap: just doing some homework and listening to music<br/>
sapnap: u?</p>
<p>dream: just playing some minecraft<br/>
dream: what music r u listening to? quadeca?</p>
<p>sapnap: yeah! they just came out w their new album<br/>
sapnap: have u heard of it?</p>
<p>dream: yeah actually! it’s a good album </p>
<p>
  <i>and i didn’t lie this time! although the music wasn’t nessicarily my taste i gave it a go bc i knew sap would like it. is that weird?</i>
</p>
<p>sapnap: damn surprised u can find time to listen to it inbetween all ur teenage girl music lol </p>
<p>dream: fuck off<br/>
dream: ariana grande pops off okay</p>
<p>sapnap: looool<br/>
sapnap: so how r u liking ur school so far?</p>
<p>dream: it’s pretty fun<br/>
dream: i lucked out and got some rlly chill people on my floor</p>
<p>sapnap: that’s cool, my floors fucking boring<br/>
sapnap: i’ll have to come visit u sometime 😳😉<br/>
sapnap: do u have any plans for tn?</p>
<p>dream: yeah i have to go in a few<br/>
dream: i’m hanging out w some people at my friend bads dorm</p>
<p>sapnap: aww introvert dweam out n making fwiends 🥺🥺<br/>
sapnap: what r y’all gonna b going?</p>
<p>dream: shut up.<br/>
dream: we’re just gonna go see a movie, that new horror one came out a while ago<br/>
dream: wbu? u doin anything fun tonight?</p>
<p>sapnap: nope. punz has practice so i’m just hanging out in my dorm </p>
<p>
  <i> that had to have been a mistype or something. why would sapnaps plans revolve around punz? the SAME punz who he complained about bothering him before quackities party senior year. </i>
</p>
<p>dream: punz?</p>
<p>sapnap: yeah punz<br/>
sapnap: u remember him from hs right? </p>
<p>
  <i> ok so maybe it is that punz. again, i’m not jealous </i>
</p>
<p>sapnap: we’ve been dating for a few months now<br/>
sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap is deleting...<br/>
sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap: did it never come up? </p>
<p>dream: oh i’m happy for u lol<br/>
dream is typing...<br/>
:how did u end up with him anyways??:</p>
<p>
  <i> is that too far?...... probably </i>
</p>
<p>dream is deleting...<br/>
dream is typing...<br/>
dream: how did u two get together?</p>
<p>sapnap: well remember that party we went to last year?</p>
<p>
  <i> how could i forget? </i>
</p>
<p>sapnap: while we were there he sent me a ton of messages explaining how he felt, and at first i thought it was a bit weird<br/>
sapnap: but then i realized that it was kind of a bold move<br/>
sapnap: we talked more over the summer and realized we were going to the same school<br/>
sapnap: and once we got here we kinda just hit it off</p>
<p>dream: oh cool<br/>
dream: is he sappys best fwiend 🥺🥺</p>
<p>sapnap: hahahah stop<br/>
sapnap: but like i guess. i mean, he knows me better than anyone else </p>
<p>
  <i> ouch. not gonna lie that one fucking hurt. does he know that your fear of heights comes from when you were seven and you fell off the diving board at the pool? does he know the difference between your fake laugh and your real laugh? does he know that you can’t sleep in the silence, so you always have to have some sort of background noise? does he know that when you’re uncomfortable in public and someone tries talking to you, you’ll respond in greek so they’ll leave you alone? does he know you used to go by pandas but i was the only person you let still call you that after you switched to sapnap? does he know that you always want someone playing with your hair, because you like the comfort of being in contact with another person? does he know that you hate spooning because “where the fuck do your arms go?” does he know you like i do?</i>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <i>fuck maybe i am jealous man. whatever. </i>
</p>
<p>sapnap: sure, sometimes he can be kind of a jerk but when it’s good it’s rlly good </p>
<p>
  <i> wait. </i>
</p>
<p>dream: how’s he a jerk to u?</p>
<p>sapnap: i mean we just get into arguments sometimes<br/>
sapnap: and u know how stubborn i am lol<br/>
sapnap: he’s the same way so we can go back and forth for a whiiile<br/>
sapnap: but like i said when things are good they’re great </p>
<p>
  <i> sap is stubborn. once i wouldn’t play minecraft with him so he came to my house booted it up on my computer and threatened to literally kidnap patches if i didn’t play. i miss him living close enough to just come over because of something as stupid as minecraft </i>
</p>
<p>dream: i mean i guess that’s normal enough<br/>
dream: as long as ur okay </p>
<p>sapnap: don’t worry i am haha<br/>
sapnap: we just get loud when we argue is all </p>
<p>dream is typing...<br/>
:well all i know is i wouldn’t treat you like that: </p>
<p>
  <i>.... too far again </i>
</p>
<p>dream is deleting...<br/>
dream is typing...</p>
<p>dream: well all i know is you should be treated a little better than that :)</p>
<p>sapnap: what u think u could treat me better dreamie????? </p>
<p>
  <i> yes. </i>
</p>
<p>sapnap: lol jk but can we drop this i don’t wanna talk abt it anymore </p>
<p>dream: i’m sorry, i just want u to be happy :)</p>
<p>sapnap: i am happy i promise :)<br/>
sapnap: oh shit it’s getting late, don’t u have to meet up with ur friends?</p>
<p>dream: eh, idk </p>
<p>sapnap: dream don’t be a nimrod, go<br/>
sapnap: i don’t want u to miss it<br/>
sapnap: i’ll ttyl &lt;3</p>
<p>dream: bye &lt;3</p>
<p>sapnap🥶💪 is away</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sophomore Year, College</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dream: fuck</p><p>sapnap: what</p><p> </p><p>  <i>here goes nothing</i></p><p> </p><p>dream: i wish i had kissed you</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>sapnap🥶💪 has signed in!</p><p>sapnap: hey dream!</p><p>dream: yooo what’s up?</p><p>sapnap: haha not much<br/>
sapnap: how’s life? it’s been a while brother</p><p>dream: eh it’s whatever<br/>
dream: how’s urs?</p><p>sapnap: oh hanging in there<br/>
sapnap: any plans for the weekend?</p><p>dream: just hanging out w my friend george </p><p>sapnap: oh.<br/>
sapnap: who’s george, ur new hole? lmao</p><p>dream: WHAT<br/>
dream: WHAT<br/>
dream: NO he’s just a friend </p><p>
  <i>who i might have drunk kissed once or twice, but sap doesn’t need to know that</i>
</p><p>sapnap: suuuure man ;)))<br/>
sapnap: i’m fucking around but i genuinely don’t think i’ve heard u talk abt him before<br/>
sapnap: when did you two meet?</p><p>dream: my friend bad introduced us at one of his parties last year </p><p>sapnap: oh.<br/>
sapnap: soooo...<br/>
sapnap: is he ur best friend :)</p><p>
  <i>why does this seem familiar? </i>
</p><p>dream: tbh idk<br/>
dream: i’m not sure who i actually would call my best friend </p><p>sapnap: ahhh so he IS just a hole<br/>
sapnap: /j<br/>
sapnap: but it does sound like things are going well, that’s good </p><p>dream: it is i guess<br/>
dream: how’s everything with u? like for real</p><p>sapnap: ngl man everything kinda sucks<br/>
sapnap: me n punz broke up last week :/ </p><p>
  <i>why did my heart skip a beat? i’m such a shitty friend </i>
</p><p>dream: oh shit sap i had no idea<br/>
dream: how u feeling?</p><p>sapnap: it’s fine, it’s just been rlly weird since<br/>
sapnap: we had the same friend group so things r just kinda messy<br/>
sapnap: i just feel kind of alone i guess </p><p>dream: well u know i’m here for u<br/>
dream: i always will be </p><p>sapnap: i know and thank you<br/>
sapnap: i just feel kind of abandoned </p><p>
  <i>fuck i think this right here is the moment i realize i’d do anything for sap to never feel this sad again </i>
</p><p>dream: no offense but they sound like shitty friends </p><p>sapnap: yeah ig so but they were my only friends<br/>
sapnap: and they’d rather be friends with punz<br/>
sapnap: dude what did i do wrong<br/>
sapnap: fuck now i’m starting to cry ahahaha</p><p>dream: they’re not worth it sap. you’re an amazing person </p><p>sapnap: thanks<br/>
sapnap: i’m sorry for being such a fucking mess i didn’t mean to fall apart like that lol</p><p>dream: it’s okay pandas, i’ll always be here for u &lt;3</p><p>sapnap: thank you dream. &lt;3<br/>
sapnap: it’s so nice to be able to talk about this, i haven’t rlly had a chance to vent yet </p><p>dream: i know you would do the same for me</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap is deleting...<br/>
sapnap is typing...</p><p>
  <i>uh oh</i>
</p><p>sapnap: i want to ask you something but i’m afraid you’ll hate me or something<br/>
sapnap: promise you won’t hate me?</p><p>dream: i could never hate you sap</p><p>sapnap: okay well at quackities party senior year, remember how we got bored and went for that walk?<br/>
sapnap: we stopped at that playground for a bit and just... layed there and looked at the stars...</p><p>
  <i>how could i forget. it was chilly and the cold was nipping at his face, cheeks and nose bright red. it was cute. we were walking down the sidewalk under the street lamps when he reached out and linked his arm through mine. we were talking about and laughing at practically nothing. when we made our way from the sidewalks to a park, he spotted a clear patch of grass near an empty playground. even in the dark i saw his eyes light up. he unlinked our arms but slid his hand down to interlock his fingers with mine and pulled me over to the grassy spot. i remember him looking up at me before he grabbed my hands with his own and placed them on his cheeks. relativley warm hands pressed up against cold skin as we made eye contact. he leaned up a little, and i leaned down slightly. i remembered our foreheads touched before a plane flew above and snapped both of us out of the bubble we were in. we both pulled back and he giggled, and that might have been one of the most beautiful sounds i had ever heard. he then sat down on the grass, tugging my hand to get me to sit beside him, then we layed down and just.... existed together. it was nice. i remember watching his side profile as he looked up at the night sky, talking about nothing in particular. fuck he was pretty. i remember reaching out and taking his hand as we were laying side by side under the stars. i remember him looking to the side at me and grinning as we made eye contact. i remember him asking why i was looking at him like that, and i remember chickening out and not telling him what i was thinking. i remember not telling him that although we were looking at hundreds of stars i couldn’t take my eyes off of him, i remember not telling him that i wanted to bottle the feeling of holding his cold face in my hands so i could have it forever, and worst of all i remember not telling him... </i>
</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap is deleting...<br/>
sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap: why didn’t you kiss me? </p><p>
  <i>i remember not telling him i wanted to kiss him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>fuck</i>
</p><p>dream: pandas...<br/>
dream: i didn’t know u felt that way</p><p>sapnap: idk i’m sorry i’ve just always wondered how things would be if u did<br/>
sapnap: it’s kind of stupid i guess</p><p>dream: fuck</p><p>sapnap: what</p><p>
  <i>here goes nothing</i>
</p><p>dream: i wish i had kissed you</p><p>sapnap: :/<br/>
sapnap: wait hey i have an idea<br/>
sapnap: maybe i can come visit this weekend? 🥺<br/>
sapnap: u know, as friends of course<br/>
sapnap: its just, i could rlly use some time away from this school and these people<br/>
sapnap: and we’ve always talked about visiting each other<br/>
sapnap: what do u think?</p><p> <i>god i want to see him, to be able to relive that moment under the stars for even for a second. to feel his energy with me and the butterflies of everytime our skin brushed against each other, accidentally or purposefully.<br/>
shit<br/>
but it would be selfish allowing him to come over ‘as friends’ with all these thoughts and feelings buzzing around inside of me, especially since he just got out of a relationship. especially because i might have a ‘thing’ going with george. it would be a bad desision</i></p><p>
  <i>but who said i was good at making decisions?</i>
</p><p>dream: please come visit, i’d love to see u again </p><p>sapnap: great! fuck man i’m so excited<br/>
sapnap: oh wait<br/>
sapnap: ur plans with george </p><p>
  <i> right, george. do i have feelings for george or was i still heartbroken over sapnap? should i have feelings for george? especially if sapnap only wants to come over as friends? but i cant have feelings for george if i can’t stop thinking about kissing sapnap under the stars. you know what, nows not the time to figure this out </i>
</p><p>dream: no biggie, i’ll talk to him about it :)</p><p>
  <i>or.... lie to him about it </i>
</p><p>sapnap: ok i just don’t wanna mess anything up that might be going on between u two<br/>
sapnap: what do u wanna do this weekend? :)</p><p>dream: don’t be dumb sap, u won’t “mess anything up”<br/>
dream: and use we can just hang out in my dorm and catch up :)</p><p>sapnap: sounds good to me!<br/>
sapnap: did u want me to bring any alcohol or weed or anything?</p><p>dream: yeah man, might as well live a little<br/>

</p>
<p>sapnap: ok<br/>
sapnap: i’m so excited to finally come and visit<br/>
sapnap: shit i actually really have to run though but i’ll see u this weekend riiiight??</p><p>dream: of course! </p><p>sapnap: bye dream &lt;3</p><p>dream: bye pandas &lt;3</p><p>
  <i>i’m fucked </i>
</p><p> </p><p>sapnap🥶💪 is away</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next ones gonna be a lil angsty oops </p><p>look forward to it lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Junior Year, College</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dream: do you think we’ll ever be the<br/>same?</p><p> </p><p>  <i> probably not</i></p><p> </p><p>sapnap: i don’t know</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey gamers, so this chapters a lil bit different bc it’s from saps perspective instead of dreams </p><p>enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>dream🏈 has signed in!</p><p>sapnap: hey.</p><p>dream: hello</p><p>
  <i> i already hate this </i>
</p><p>sapnap: i know it’s been a while since we last talked.</p><p>dream: no worries dude<br/>
dream: what’s up?</p><p>sapnap: i’ve just been going through a lot lately<br/>
sapnap: always going through some shit haha</p><p>dream: is everything ok?</p><p>sapnap: yeah everything’s fine<br/>
sapnap: maybe?<br/>
sapnap: idk<br/>
sapnap: i was hoping we can talk about things?</p><p>dream: of course, what’s up?</p><p>
  <i>here it goes</i>
</p><p>sapnap: i just feel like things are kinda like<br/>
sapnap: awkward? between us rn<br/>
sapnap: have you felt that?</p><p>dream: yeah i mean<br/>
dream: theres definitely a lot of weird tension atm</p><p>sapnap: i think it’s bc of last year when i came to visit<br/>
sapnap: dream please be honest with me </p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
:when we had sex did you mean it? or did you use me? bc that’s what it feels like:<br/>
sapnap is deleting...</p><p>
  <i> in the moment it felt perfect. it felt like there was all those years of build up for that moment. looking back it was rushed, and it was messy, and the circumstances probably weren’t ideal and afterwards he just.... </i>
</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
:how come after we hooked up and i went to bed u didn’t stay with me? instead you left me in ur room and went out with george. do you know how much that hurt? i kind of feel like you used me...:<br/>
sapnap is deleting... </p><p>
  <i> ...he just left. he helped clean me up and for a moment it felt... nice. he placed a kiss on the tip of my nose and smiled. when i giggled at him he just smiled bigger. i felt safe, and... and loved i guess. i put on a pair of sweats from the floor, and he sat on his bed looking at his phone. i asked him to cuddle me, not a weird request as we would cuddle all the time before moving away from each other. he said he had to run because george wanted to see him. he said maybe he’d cuddle me when he gets back. he said it would only be a half an hour at most. he was gone for hours. i guess it just kinda hurt my feelings, but maybe i’m being sensitive or something? i don’t know anymore. when he got back i pretended to be asleep in his bed and he quietly took off his shoes and hoodie. i felt him lay behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, just for a second before he readjusted so he was under me with my head on his chest. he’s always known that i hate spooning </i>
</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
sapnap: did you plan that we would hook up?</p><p>dream: i mean<br/>
dream: i thought it was possible</p><p>sapnap: looking back it all seemed so planned out<br/>
sapnap: i mean we spent the whole day in ur room<br/>
sapnap: and like drank and stuff<br/>
sapnap: and it was right after all that shit with punz<br/>
sapnap: you must have known how vulnerable i was right? </p><p>dream: tbh u seemed fine<br/>
dream: like not too out of it<br/>
dream: and i was drinking too </p><p>dream is typing<br/>
dream is deleting...<br/>
dream is typing...</p><p>dream: i don’t know</p><p>sapnap: ok i just<br/>
sapnap: i don’t know either</p><p>dream: do you regret coming to visit?<br/>
dream: and like.... i didn’t force anything on you right?</p><p>sapnap: nonono i don’t regret it<br/>
sapnap: and you definitely didn’t force anything<br/>
sapnap: idk i just feel like we’re different</p><p>dream: different like in a bad way?</p><p>
  <i>probably</i>
</p><p>sapnap: no not bad just<br/>
sapnap: not the same </p><p>dream: do you think we’ll ever be the<br/>
same?</p><p>
  <i> probably not</i>
</p><p>sapnap: i don’t know </p><p>sapnap: things are just rlly weird right now<br/>
sapnap: but thank you for talking to me about it all</p><p>dream: hey, no problem pandas </p><p>
  <i> that fucking nickname. he’s the only one i’ve let call me that, you know</i>
</p><p>sapnap: so how’s school and everything going?</p><p>dream: it’s alright<br/>
dream: just same old same old</p><p>
  <i> this sucks</i>
</p><p>sapnap: so how’s ur friend uh<br/>
sapnap: bad was it?</p><p>dream: he’s ok<br/>
dream: he’s been more serious bout school and stuff lately<br/>
dream: only rlly talks to this guy skeppy </p><p>
  <i> this really sucks</i>
</p><p>sapnap: yeah it’s sucks when people change<br/>
sapnap: so what about george?</p><p>dream: we still hang out sometimes</p><p>sapnap: is he still just a friend or..?</p><p>
  <i> once dream drunk messaged me that he thought george was pretty. when i teased him about it the next day he admitted that he stands by it. hell, i’ll even stand by it. i’ve seen pictures of him and he is a pretty boy. i literally can’t compete. when asking dream if he had feelings for george he left it at “i don’t know... maybe? it’s complicated” which.... totally didn’t hurt at all</i>
</p><p>dream is typing...<br/>
dream is deleting...<br/>
dream is typing...</p><p>dream: i don’t know</p><p>sapnap: oh ok </p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
:i miss what we used to have:<br/>
sapnap is deleting...</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
:i wish we could start over:<br/>
sapnap is deleting...</p><p>sapnap is typing...<br/>
:it’s okay if you’d prefer to be with him, he’s literally perfect for you, i’m just holding you back:<br/>
sapnap is deleting...</p><p>sapnap is typing...</p><p>sapnap: i’m sorry idk if i can do this rn </p><p>dream: do what?</p><p>sapnap: just talk like everything’s normal<br/>
sapnap: i have to go soon anyways<br/>
sapnap: but talk later ok?</p><p>dream: yeah of course &lt;3</p><p> log out?<br/>
[yes]   no</p><p>sapnap✌️ is away</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aaaa sorry for the angst </p><p>last chapter out rlly soon 😳😳</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Senior Year, College</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dream: goodbye, sapnap</p><p>sapnap: okay, bye dream </p><p>dream👾 is away</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>sapnap🌀 has signed in!</p><p>dream: hey</p><p>sapnap: hey dream </p><p>dream: how are you?</p><p>sapnap: i’m good<br/>sapnap: how are you?</p><p>dream: i’m alright </p><p>sapnap: oh, good</p><p>dream: how are things going </p><p>sapnap: everything’s been really good actually </p><p>dream: sooo<br/>dream: do u have any plans for the weekend?</p><p>sapnap: idk i think me n karl are going to a concert or something </p><p>dream: oh cool.<br/>dream: karl?</p><p>sapnap: u know, from highschool<br/>sapnap: he messaged me a little after me and you talked about things last year and we met up and just kinda hit it off again <br/>sapnap: i rlly like him haha<br/>sapnap: how’s ur crush on georgie going?</p><p>dream: not great, he told me he’s always felt weird about you coming to visit <br/>dream: and he thinks i was leading you on or something </p><p>sapnap: oh i’m sorry </p><p>dream: it’s whatever </p><p>sapnap: well college is almost over anyways </p><p>dream: it flew by dont you think?</p><p>sapnap: yeah it rlly did <br/>sapnap: crazy to think we’re like real adults now haha </p><p>dream: we had some good times in college </p><p>sapnap: yeah kind of <br/>sapnap: i’d rather not think of the past though </p><p>dream: oh sure </p><p>sapnap: i’m just tired of reliving memories </p><p>dream: so, any plans for after graduation?</p><p>sapnap: oh no not really. i think my family’s coming around but that’s about it </p><p>dream: what’s karl doing after graduation?</p><p>sapnap: i think me and him are gonna stay here for the summer at least </p><p>dream is typing... <br/>:can we talk about things?:<br/>dream is deleting....<br/>dream is typing...</p><p>dream: do anything interesting recently?</p><p>sapnap: nah i’ve just been playing minecraft and stuff with karl </p><p>dream is typing...<br/>:could i see you this summer?:<br/>dream is deleting....<br/>dream is typing...</p><p>dream: are u doing homework rn?</p><p>sapnap: yeah just some stuff due tomorrow </p><p>dream is typing...<br/>: do you ever miss things?:<br/>dream is deleting....<br/>dream is typing...</p><p>dream: how are classes?</p><p>sapnap: they’re alright<br/>sapnap: same old same old </p><p>dream is typing...<br/>: do you miss me? i miss you.:<br/>dream is deleting...<br/>dream is typing....</p><p>dream: find any good music lately?</p><p>sapnap: not rlly, just mostly listening to older stuff </p><p>dream is typing...<br/>: will we ever be the way we were?: <br/>dream is deleting....<br/>dream is typing...</p><p>dream: any good movies?</p><p>sapnap: no not really</p><p>dream is typing...<br/>: is this the end for us?: <br/>dream is deleting...<br/>dream is typing...</p><p>dream: how’s the weather been over there?</p><p>sapnap: it’s been alright </p><p>dream: cool<br/>dream: um alright i think i’m gonna head out <br/>dream: goodbye, sapnap</p><p>sapnap: okay, bye dream </p><p>dream👾 is away</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:/ sorry lol &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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